Insecurity, Ego and Temptation. These are the three main compartments of every man’s emotional complex or what I like to call the three “wise men” in every man’s love life. Truthfully, lots of us who consider ourselves to be “good” actually find decent girls in our pursuit for happiness, but ruin the relationship by allowing these “wise men” to convince us she’s no good. But the fact is, a lot of us men (and I say this to include myself), don’t believe in the perfect woman, or rather a woman who fits our criteria 100%.
We subconsciously expect her to be flawed, or to be consistent with the popular comparison of women to being like Delilah from the Bible. So when we find a woman who tests negative on all checks, we’re so amazed that we forget to think; and allow the three “wise men” to dictate our thinking without realizing that their main prerogative is to convince us that she’s just like Delilah.
Mr Ego usually leads the charge, and is responsible for ensuring that you feel like a King. He’s that constant reminder that “your girl is gorgeous”..”She chose you over all the more handsome, popular suitors because you’re GREAT”…”She’s perfect, she has all the qualities you’d want in a lady and more” “She loves you unconditionally; you could cheat on her and she’d still be around”. He ensures that you play your role as the faithful boyfriend to the best of your ability, because being the good boyfriend is really how you preserve your prestige as being the guy who is dating “that girl”. But your faithfulness comes at a cost, charged by your insecurity.
Mr Insecurity works against your Ego in reminding you of your imperfections. He’s the chief draftsman of all your trust issues, and is a diligent enforcer of these “laws”. He is the one who creates scenarios and stories for you to believe, and will even go as far as dig up evidence from her past to support the notion that she’s no good. He is relentless in ensuring that you remember that you don’t have that six pack she likes seeing on Trey Songz; you have no special gifts or talents to really set you apart from the rest; you’re not as charming and funny as her ex-boyfriend; you’ll never know the same secrets as her bestie (who is also a guy); and the list goes on.
And then there’s Mr. Temptation. Any man who’s been in a serious relationship or is currently in one will agree with me in saying that women want you more NOW than they did when you were single. And these same women will say they don’t want to be a home wrecker but teach you how to be your own home wrecker without you even realizing it. These women are just like most women: they want a good man to do right by them. So when they see a good girl settled down and committed to this good guy, their desire to have exactly what this good girl has supersedes the logic of them actually having a relationship with this good guy. So they find themselves employing whatever means necessary to take this good man away from his good woman. Temptation essentially is like a pimp, who works with the Ego by training and encouraging these young women to get involved in your relationship and justify your infidelity as just a testament of how great you are: “This is the inevitable; you either live like this or don’t live at all”
So to my brothers reading this, whom might be feeling like what I’ve just said applies to them; please take heed. Don’t let this good girl that you’ve got slip out of your grasp because of these three “wise men” : Insecurity, Ego and Temptation